A Spanking Good Time

Spanking is one of the most common BDSM activities and it is to our shock that we discovered we had never talked about it here on the blog! Shame on us! But we are rectifying that now. Here is everything we know about spanking.

Why Spanking?

Many of us over a certain age can remember spanking as an oft-used discipline strategy of our parents. Now that we are grown, spanking is something still enjoyed by many adults and is popular BDSM activity. Spanking can be part of the classic schoolgirl scene, part of an impact scene, or just a sensation scene. The impact can range from light to “there-will-be-bruises” hard. No matter whether or not you use an implement, anything that requires striking the bottom can be considered a spanking. The thrill of this activity comes from the sensation of striking and the burning sensation afterward. No matter how you do it, it’s a lot of fun

The Basics

For this scene, there are usually two roles – the person doing the spanking (the top) and the person being spanked (the bottom). The scene can take

Woman spanking a man
Woman spanking a man

place in any setting where play is allowed. Certainly, you can use a spanking bench, which provides a safe, sturdy base for the exercise, but you can do it without any special equipment. You can have your bottom stand near a wall, lying on a bed, lean over a chair or your lap, or even kneel on all fours. However, you choose to do the scene, it is important that the bottom has a sturdy place to brace themselves since spanking can cause the body to move in unexpected ways.  If you are using restraints, make sure they do not have any way to injure the bottom when the scene is taking place.

When negotiating a scene, make sure you know the stopping point. Besides the green, yellow, and red safewords, it is good to know where you are trying to end up. Is there a certain amount of time, a certain amount of redness, or an emotional point that your bottom is trying to get to? The bottom often relies on the top to help them stop a scene, so make sure you know where to stop sign is. Ask your bottom how they want to be dressed – hopefully, they will ask for your input! Remember that the fewer clothes the bottom wears, the more sensation will be felt with every hit, so adjust accordingly.

Many spankings take place in a fantasy, so add time to get into character and get the play area set up. Once you have everything ready to go and the scene is ready to commence it is time to get spanking!

Slap away!

When doing a spanking, remember you are aiming for butt and the upper thighs – these areas can take a lot of abuse, which is why they are the ones used for this type of hitting. Once your bottom is in place, ass up, you want to get the right implement.

The hand is popular, but be aware that using it for a long time can cause your arm to tire and your hand to sting. Plus, it can be pretty inaccurate as an implement. It does cover a lot of ground, however, so if you don’t mind the sting, go ahead and use that hand. If you want that little extra oomph when using your hand, put on some leather gloves.

There a lot of other implements you can use – slappers, paddles, and even household objects (wooden spoon, anyone?). Just make sure whatever you are using won’t hurt in a way that you are not expecting, i.e.splinters or sharp edges that can cut. It is normal in a scene to use more than one implement, so it might be a good idea to line them up to have them ready to switch out.

First, don’t try your hardest hits at first. You want to warm up the area with a little small smacks, maybe even rubbing the area to diffuse the sensation a little. Once everything is warmed up, find a nice rhythm to make sure your bottom is aroused and vary in between a thud and a sting. A thud is a heavy hit. It can be dull but gets deep in the tissue. Sting is more shallow and sharp sensations. Hands and wooden paddles produce thuds, and canes and slappers produce stings. One pro tip – if you are spanking with your bottom standing up, it is good to know they can clench their cheeks to lessen the pain, bending over something really opens up the bottom to all the sensations,

One thing I like to do in a scene is reposition the bottom a few times. This ensures that I am hitting all areas, and ratchets up the tension a little more. Commands to stick their bottom out are usually met with delight as well.


Don’t forget to make sure your bottom is not dizzy or faint if they are bending over. And help them stand up to allow for the blood that’s rushed to their head to stabilize. Make sure you can hear your bottom during the scene! If they are bent over or on all fours, their voice might get lost if you’re in a busy play space. Stop the play and go around to check in with them during the scene.

After the scene, make sure they are alright and see if they need aftercare. Also, check in with them in a day or two after to see if bruises have formed or anything isn’t feeling like it should.

Spanking is a fun and easy BDSM activity – and it delivers a lot of sensation to the bottom. Make sure to try it next time you are ready to play!


Keep talking the taboos!


photo credit: le_cucq le_cucq_spanking_three-1048 via photopin (license)

photo credit: le_cucq le_cucq_spanking_three-0565 via photopin (license)

Ms Pomegranate is an experienced sex educator - concentrating on Sexual health in the teen years, and BDSM for beginners. In the scene she is a rope bottom for MrBLK, and domme for all who would venture into her domain. Sex blogger, sex educator, and sexy - talking the taboos!

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