In BDSM, Primal is a very specific subset of kinksters, and one of the hardest to define. Primal is defined as “getting to a place where the masks civilization can fall away and to allow acting on urges and impulses more directly. These can be raw, rough sexual feelings, but they could also be joy, silliness, deep feelings of love and intimacy, feelings of deep tenderness, even sadness and grief.” It is about presenting a manner that is completely instinctual – primal play can involve biting, hissing, and guttural sounds. But the vaguer the kink, the more myths that surround it, so here are five myths surrounding primals.
1. Primals just don’t want to follow the rules – that is not true for primals or any kink, rules are the thing that keep our delicate balancing act in place. But even within the primal subset, there are rules just like any other kink. Just because someone identifies as a primal doesn’t mean they do everything primal – biting, wrestling, pet play, etc. Find out what they are into before engaging in a primal scene.
2. It is the same as a dom/sub relationship – It can seem like that from the outside, and certainly most primals take on a submissive or dominant role, but not necessarily as a means to subjugate another. They simply fill a dominant role, or identify their animal counterpart as a dominant or submissive.
3. Primal play is available in any dungeon – Sorry, no. Primals tend to play harder than others, and that requires special equipment, and sometimes even a spotter. Primal play is edge play and can be violent; you must know what you are getting into. In addition, some primals like to bite and wrestle until there is blood, even if you are prepared to play rough, make sure you know how rough.
4. I have to join a pack – Not necessarily. While primals will often have a pack, there are those out there who prefer to eschew the pack, or to partner up with only a significant other. Just like other BDSM people, they could be poly, monogamous, and of different sexual orientations.
5. This is just pet play! – Definitely not, even though to the untrained eye, it may look like it. Primals often “identify” with an animal, but they are not taking on the animal character, only its traits and persona. Play for primals can be be light or intense, it may be making out or all the way to a full contact wrestling match. It’s not uncommon to see primals on all fours; growling, smelling, nipping, biting, and nuzzling each other. Play may start out by the primals “Greeting” each other the way animals might – by smelling the other’s bodies. Then there might be a struggle for dominance, and that is where the wrestling and biting would come in – you might even call it a “mating dance”. Grabbing, holding, and scratching each other can be all there is of the scene, or if there is negotiation beforehand, progress into more sexual acts. I hope by giving you a glimpse into primal play, you can see the difference from pet play. Primals do not have handlers, use leashes or another paraphernalia, no disappearance into their pet persona, but instead a release of what they consider “inner” animal.
If you feel your inner animal needs a release, I encourage you to check out the “primals”. They could be just what you are looking for! RAWR!
Keep talkin’ the taboos!