Five Myths About…Primals

In BDSM, Primal is a very specific subset of kinksters, and one of the hardest to define. Primal is defined as “getting to a place where the masks civilization can fall away and to allow acting on urges and impulses more directly. These can be raw, rough sexual feelings, but 4195327026_5406f0bd59_bthey could also be joy, silliness, deep feelings of love and intimacy, feelings of deep tenderness, even sadness and grief.” It is about presenting a manner that is completely instinctual – primal play can involve biting, hissing, and guttural sounds. But the vaguer the kink, the more myths that surround it, so here are five myths surrounding primals.

1. Primals just don’t want to follow the rules – that is not true for primals or any kink, rules are the thing that keep our delicate balancing act in place. But even within the primal subset, there are rules just like any other kink. Just because someone identifies as a primal doesn’t mean they do everything primal – biting, wrestling, pet play, etc. Find out what they are into before engaging in a primal scene.

2. It is the same as a dom/sub relationship – It can seem like that from the outside, and certainly most primals take on a submissive or dominant role, but not necessarily as a means to subjugate another. They simply fill a dominant role, or identify their animal counterpart as a dominant or submissive.

3. Primal play is available in any dungeon – Sorry, no. Primals tend to play harder than others, and that requires special equipment, and sometimes even a spotter. Primal play is edge play and can be violent; you must know what you are getting into. In addition, some primals like to bite and wrestle until there is blood, even if you are prepared to play rough, make sure you know how rough.

4. I have to join a pack – Not necessarily. While primals will often have a pack, there are those out there who prefer to eschew the pack, or to partner up with only a significant other. Just like other BDSM people, they could be poly, monogamous, and of different sexual orientations.

3456993824_6e86064af35. This is just pet play! – Definitely not, even though to the untrained eye, it may look like it. Primals often “identify” with an animal, but they are not taking on the animal character, only its traits and persona. Play for primals can be be light or intense, it may be making out or all the way to a full contact wrestling match. It’s not uncommon to see primals on all fours; growling, smelling, nipping, biting, and nuzzling each other. Play may start out by the primals “Greeting” each other the way animals might – by smelling the other’s bodies. Then there might be a struggle for dominance, and that is where the wrestling and biting would come in – you might even call it a “mating dance”. Grabbing, holding, and scratching each other can be all there is of the scene, or if there is negotiation beforehand, progress into more sexual acts. I hope by giving you a glimpse into primal play, you can see the difference from pet play. Primals do not have handlers, use leashes or another paraphernalia, no disappearance into their pet persona, but instead a release of what they consider “inner” animal.

If you feel your inner animal needs a release, I encourage you to check out the “primals”. They could be just what you are looking for! RAWR!

Keep talkin’ the taboos!

Ms Pomegranate is an experienced sex educator - concentrating on Sexual health in the teen years, and BDSM for beginners. In the scene she is a rope bottom for MrBLK, and domme for all who would venture into her domain. Sex blogger, sex educator, and sexy - talking the taboos!

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  1. Sort of digging up something buried here, but I have questions;

    Is Primal Kink related to Fur Culture at all?

    Are there materials available for people attracted to submissive primals but who aren’t primal themselves? Is there a specific term for this sort of relationship?

    • By Fur Culture do you mean Furry Fandom or Fur Fetish?

      As for Furry \ Primal crossover it really all depends on the person. My primary BDSM kink is Primal, but Ive also written for the Furry Fandom under a previous pseudonym. Both have very violent overtones with an animalistic theme. But I have met some furries who hated wrestling as foreplay and met some Primals who hated anthropomorphic art.

      The only labels Ive seen in Primal Play are Predator, Prey, Alpha and (rarely) Omega for extended packs.

      • Thanks for the response! I wasn’t expecting one for a post more than two years old, let alone one so quickly!

        I don’t distinguish between Fur Fandom or Fur Fetish unless its important to the conversation, and put both next to each other under ‘Culture’. Probably worth a discussion, as I know some people to be fairly specific on what they are and are not okay being associated with, but it usually makes for simpler conversation when its not the focus.

        The trouble I’m having is finding myself attracted to zoomorphic features; tail plugs, behaviors, and the like, but don’t particularly feel an affinity for Fur, and am not sure about being very animalistic myself. Trying to find my place in all this.

  2. I have never really looked into the differences between Pet Play & Primal Play, but now that I have been more open with the community I am finding out I may not be ‘labeling’ my interests or myself in the right categories.
    I am a very bratty wolf, and i have a partner in which he is my master. He is very Primal. I have the tenancies to be very submissive, but only for him. I get in ‘pet head space’ when im with him and no one else.
    You say that primals do not have handlers, but it that always true?

  3. The more and more I read about primal’s the more I realise my inner primal sub is why I’ve struggled to find the right Dom. I’ve always identified with what would be traditional prey animals, except the greyhound which taps slightly into the small part of me that is just a tiny bit predatory.

    Knowing and learning more about this aspect of myself I think will definitely help me on my journey!

    Thank you xx

  4. Primal is not new to me, but I am struggling to find proper terms, so if someone wouldn’t mind? Is there a form of Primal that is more…gentle? I’m not sure ‘gentle’ is the right term. On most every count Primal is what I would say I am drawn to, more instinctual animalistic gestures or sounds are how I tend to express myself normally, particularly when it comes to affection. What I am trying to express with ‘gentle’ is that BDSM is not particularly appealing to me; hunter/prey sounds mildly fun but not like something I would normally wish; the idea of a mate and expressing affection, protectiveness, and taking care of one another in a more primal manner is what I tend towards – So is there a form of Primal that is reliant on instinct and gentle passion rather than harsher things?

    • I’m literally BRAND new to this. A friend noticed my behavior and called me a primal, so I looked it up. She happens to be a pet. Our play is mostly gentle. I tend to think of it like a male lion and a cub. She gets pulled around, tossed around and nibbled a bit. I growl, but it’s all in play and she doesn’t get hurt. I worry sometimes that the intercourse may be tad extreme but she just smiles. She’s only tapped out once & I think that was out of exhaustion.


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